Katherine Henson, penning as k.e. She self-published her first book, “wildflowers: the first collection” in 2016. Katherine has been writing for as long as she can remember, and it is both her love language and preferred choice of communication. For Katherine, writing has been a way to escape and discover; through body image issues, depression, anxiety, and loss Katherine has used her words as a way to be honest with herself, while also helping others understand that they are not alone.

Cliff jumping and self worth

If I’m going to jump off a cliff and survive, you better believe I’m going to wake up each day and thrive.

I stood there. Shaking my hands and laughing at my own fear. 

As I stood at the edge of that cliff a million shadows overcame my heart. A thousand doubts. A hundred fears. And one realization. 

All I had to do was jump.
Gravity and water would take care of the rest.

Just jump.
Plug your nose. Straighten your legs. Step off.

I did it.
I jumped, I survived.

So, if I can jump off a forty-foot cliff into a lake, why can’t I look myself in the mirror and face the fears that have grown in the bags under my eyes, the roots of my heart, and the insecurities of my soul.
Why was it that I could pep talk myself into risking my life, but not into facing the demons that live in the bags under my eyes and the shadows of my heart?

I was risking my life.
And if we’re honest, playing it safe usually wins. Fears and demons, insecurities and guilt, judgement and depression don’t exactly scream playing it safe. So we don’t disturb the sleeping beasts.
We forfeit living with worth and value for ourselves, chasing our dreams, and being on top of our own desires.
Living this way is hard, so we just wait at the top, hoping life still comes our way.

It’s easier to pace the edge of a cliff than face the demons that live in this world.

Why?

Because the world has told us that where we are is good enough.
That who we are is not good enough.
That our dreams could never be good enough.
So we don’t risk living. We settle, and we never get off that cliff.

It’s easier to tremble at the edge of a cliff than face the demons that live inside of us.

We don’t let the ghosts out of the closets, and we avoid the monsters under the bed. Instead we continue to give them a home and control in hopes to not upset them.
We fall into the mind games of society, and we make sure to never step foot out of line with our individuality or our dreams.
We buy into beauty ads and the high price of looking good. We don’t want to believe who we are is worth fighting for, so we become something else.

I faithfully believe that the greatest risk is tip-toeing around our fears claiming that we are truly living.
Until we are fearless enough to plunge into the deep we suffocate ourselves in the shadows of our fears, our insecurities, and our lies.

So buck up and jump. 

Shake out the jitters, and tear down every barrier, thought, and belief that holds you back. 

It’s your time.

You deserve better than a fearful life. You deserve better than the inability to look yourself in the mirror and like what you see. You deserve better than hopeless midnights and dreaded sunrises. You deserve to keep fighting. You deserve to set the ghosts free. You deserve to fight the demons and win.
You deserve something more than holding yourself back from better days and better life.
you deserve to get off the edge. You deserve to jump. Deep into the heart of life.

you are not who you used to be // revelations 2

i woke up

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