Something is not complete between you and God, but you are not sure what you are missing. Perhaps you have had these thoughts: "I try to live a good life", "I try to be a good person", "I obey the commandments", "I am nice", "I don't steal or kill".
You are a good person. You try to be the best you can be, try to do what is right most of the time, and try to do more good things than bad.
So why do you feel this void?
You may even have tried more drastic ways of dulling our pain - sex, drinking, buying things, going to fun places, meeting the right crowd, etc. And for all this trying, there is still something missing.
So what do you try next?
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I admit, sometimes I don't feel God here. I feel alone. But why?
Why do I build this wall between the Lord? Why do I fear so much?
It feels like for so long I have just been going through the motions. I can honestly say I have never felt a hundred percent sure about my life. But why?
This journey is not complete. This longing is not a dead end. I am pushing for more, striving for You. I will seek You more than I seek the questions of why. I will seek you above the world's way and outside the voids. I will strive to be more of You and less of what this world has filled me with.
Lord, I know I need Your help. I need Your guidance. Please help me to open up this stubborn heart of mine to You. To Your love and righteous ways. You are my home. My way. My only way.
Bring me back.