I think I lost myself. I think somewhere along the way I dropped little pieces of myself that I never cared to pick back up. They were the pieces that the world told me weren't good enough, or worthy enough, or pretty enough. They were the pieces that others told me would hold me back. They were the pieces I decided I would be better off without.
I chose to break myself apart just to please the shouting voices.
So did you. You chose to break off little pieces here and there, never realizing what you were sacrificing. You lost your innocence, your joy for the stillness, your heart for others, your hope for the wild dreams.
Can we just be? Can we paint a picture of each moment on white walls and let our life be the masterpiece it was meant to be? Can we stop for a breath without fear of losing it? Can we pick up those pieces we left behind and make ourselves whole once more? Can we take today to just sit in a small coffee shop downtown, watching the world go by?
Can we do that without sacrificing more of our soul?
Maybe we forgot that these moments exist, beating and breathing with life - our life. While we searched frantically for the next, maybe we forgot to let this one be.
Maybe, but I wish we wouldn't.
I have spent a lot of moments pleading for the next to come, and the next, and the next. My heart stopped spending those moments soaking in the candle light, or appreciating the hidden heartbeats of those walking by. Even when I sit apparently still, I forget to just be. I forget to be right there in that moment.
I lost that piece of me along the way. I think you have, too.
I know I am not alone. How could I be? When we live in a world that idolizes the fast track. The beauty of stillness replaced with the thrill of chase.
We have reshaped our hearts and dreams to fill the mold the world crafted for us, and any moment that tries to take us outside of those walls is suffocated by fear; any piece that doesn't fit we break off and leave behind. We worked so hard to fit into that mold that we fear ever being unleashed. We gave up so many pieces and parts of our soul that we fear what we would be, who we would be if we pieced ourselves back together.
So we don't. We stay cramped and mangled in that mold and we spend our lives rushing to the next moment. We sit still, but we never stop moving. We take a breath, but regret the time we may have wasted. We don't wish to just be, because we know what we may lose.
But what if we didn't?
What if we really did break the mold?
What if we could piece ourselves back together?
Filling in the cracks with gold and laughter and hope and joy.
What if we decided to just be - right here, right now.
Just to be the true us; wild and free, calm and beautiful, fierce and brave.
No mold the world could shape for us could contain that beauty.
No mold the world hands us could handle who we truly are.